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Thanks!! Hellow i am new to the forums and thought i would make a post. Dont be too harsh. And i am well aware of my bad spelling and grammer. The "Stoplight Safety System" In the lifestyle relationships we walk a dangerous line. Between pain and pleasure between torture and ecstasy. Either way treading the borderline between the two is a balancing act that if done correctly can mingle the physical with the mental, and cause and overwhelming euphoric state that can be quite addicting for all parties involved. On the other hand it can go well over the borderline and can shatter a fantasy indefinitely. If not put a few bruises on someone's psychological concept of the lifestyle. I like to use what i the stoplight safety system. Normally there is just the standard stop word such as "banana" which would end the scene and immediately begin with a conversation to find where the boundary was crossed, that the other person is all right and that anything that had gone over the line was not with the intention to upset them. I suggest to have a caution word as well such as "Yellow" and a stop word such as "Red" (the my stoplight reference). This prevents a scene from dissolving to quickly over what might be considered a "minor" offence. And also prevents a more stubborn person from not stopping a scene enough because they didn't want to loose the mood because they weren't having fun at -that- moment. Probably the most important thing about this system and why I would recommend using it to all people new to the lifestyle is because its a perfect way to explore someone's boundaries without trying to exactly where that line is. In the ideal setup, a safety word should never be said because the "D" knows the boundaries and limitations of there "s" and both can play well in them. This system helps you get to this level of companionship that the lifestyle represents without hitting the "Red" marker too often. I'd like to know what you guys think of my own thoughts. I'm sure I am not the first to suggest or use this.
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